Saturday, 27 August 2016


You're probably reading this title like "huh? why is she asking us?" but it's just that i've been having these really weird - i don't want to call them episodes, so lets just say moments - moments where something will happen, like for example, i would find out some news or something that's just really stressful will happen and everything just goes downhill from there. Let me give you a scenario that literally happened not even an hour ago so you have a mental vision of what i'm talking about. Today i was checking in on an issue that happened a while ago (via email), and as soon as i saw the email i starting panicking and my mind immediately went to the worst possible scenarios and literally all the things than can go wrong. I told my mum and she told me it's nothing and i shouldn't even be worried, but my mind was all over the place and i couldn't control it, i kept telling myself stop thinking about it, stop!! But it just wouldn't work and i kept getting extremely fidgety (my leg kept shaking uncontrollably), i couldn't sit still and i felt like throwing up. At one point i was on the verge of tears, no joke. The annoying thing about all this is that i couldn't stop thinking about it, it kept repeating over and over again in my head like a old broken tape - it was horrible. I thought walking around would make it better and calm me down, but the more i was alone with my thoughts the worse it got. Eventually, my mum gave me some cinnamon tea (i'm not really sure what is what aha) and i went to my room and watched youtube videos and wrote some blog posts until i got my mind off it.

I know you're thinking "well why don't you just go to the doctors and get yourself checked" but the thing is, it's almost 12AM right now and i didn't know what to do apart from writing about it. I tried to search for symptoms online but self diagnosis never goes well for me lol.

Another thing is, i hate going to the doctors and i'm not even sure if this is worth going to the doctors for, you know? Maybe i'm just overreacting and this isn't even a big deal. That's why i thought 'let me blog this and ask my readers first' :)

This is so much more personal than what i usually write about and it feels almost exposing, like i'm naked - emotionally, of-course. But hey, i did promise you raw and personal content so here it is!

I hope you understand why i'm posting this randomly and if you know anything that might help me, please let me know in the comments below. :))

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